Everyone gets a little crazy sometimes - 1

There are different ways you can tell that someone is kind of, maybe, just a little, teensy weensy bit gaga.  Cuckoo.  Plemplem, as we like to say in my family.  Batty.  There are many reasons people exhibit this, uh, hm... behaviour.  Some are born mad, some become mad, and some have madness thrust upon them [fellow literature freaks, can you spot the reference?].  Some of us exhibit madness on occasion, because sometimes certain circumstances just plain drive us up the wall.  We're going to take a look at some of these situations, along with a few things that seem to be typical symptoms of their corresponding craziness, over a number of posts.

Number 1 Crazy Behaviour: Road Rage

Someone overtakes recklessly, pulling into the opposite lane completely and putting the pedal to the metal to increase speed so as to effectively and quickly overtake the poor slow turtle that tickled their speed itch.  You're on that opposite lane, and they're heading straight for you if they don't manage to pull back into their lane as soon as friggeting possible.  Your heart rate accelerates drastically, your eyes fly open, you stomp on the brakes, blare your horn, become horrifyingly aware that you're going to die, and gabble 'Ohgodohgodohgod' or 'Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck'.

And the reckless driver pulls into his own lane, successfully overtaking the turtle while reducing your life span by 20 years, increasing your number of grey hairs significantly, and making you a candidate for a heart transplant in 30 years time.  Now that you're sure you're not tasting metal, the madness begins.  The bastard! THE BASTARD! HE ALMOST KILLED ME! I COULD HAVE DIED! SON OF A BITCH! ROT IN HELL YOU MOTHERCHUCKING MORON! WHO THE BLOODY BUGGERY GAVE YOU YOUR LICENSE?! MAY YOU DIE HORRIBLY WHEN YOUR CAR BARRELROLLS! AAAAARRRRRGH!!!!!!!

And more thought of that ilk rampage around in your brain and out of your mouth until you eventually catch sight of yourself in the rearview mirror.  Rabid animals the world over give you a round of applause at the froth bubbling on your lips and the insane look in your wild eyes.  As you thump the steering wheel while revelling in livid rage, you catch a glimpse of a passing pedestrian's face.  WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?! KEEP WALKING ASSHOLE! And the person breaks into a power walk.  You reach the end of your swearing vocabulary, so you make up new words and phrases as you carry on your tirade.


Eventually your ranting and raving bubbles down into mumbling and muttering.  You arrive at your destination and grumble about crazy, suicidal, homicidal drivers, for another 5 minutes.  The moment food or drink appears on your horizon, you forget all about your brush with death.


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This one goes out to one of my best friends, whose passenger road rage is always an odd surprise.  You know who you are.  ;)


Sincerely,

Macs


Ps. Hey folks, feel free to add whatever sweet little word you use instead of 'crazy' to the list. :)