Sunday 28 July 2013

Much Ado About Nothing deserves much ado.

I should probably give you a couple of warnings before I get seriously underway: a) having listened to three hours of Shakespeare, I might use somewhat outdated language, because the Bard has that effect on me, b) I am about to gush copiously, so prepare the mops!

I've just returned from a wonderful three or so hours of watching and listening to Shakespeare's 'Much Ado About Nothing', put on by the MADC, and I am delighted.  The acting was perfecto, the casting was spot on, the wardrobe choices were numerous and exact, the stage was cleverly arranged, and the props and stage hands could not have worked better.  Seeing that I decided to attend tonight's performance alone, I desperately needed the show to cheer me up.  Add to that the fact that I got caught between two fuel-sucking traffic jams on the way to the performance and arrived ten minutes late in a vile mood, you can guess that the MADC had its work cut out for it tonight regarding this miss - and here I am in bed, a happy, satisfied bunny.  If I could purr my contentment, I would.

Allow me to explain.  Having been introduced to the world of performing at the tender age of three thanks to ballet, I've been on stage and in front of audiences many times over the years, and I've been backstage, and I've waited in the wings, and I know the horror of watching something go horribly wrong.  On top of that, I am now a stickler for quality, and nothing irks me more than a cast member who isn't up to the standard of the script or the other actors, a poorly thought out performance space, or indeed anything that just does not deliver as it should.

Much Ado had none of these problems.  Certainly, two or three actors stumbled on a word and had to repeat a line, but they pulled it off by keeping in character and not letting it phase them one bit, and quite frankly who doesn't end up tripping over their own tongue in real conversation? It's perfectly natural.  So to them I say: well done, you.  But other than these tiny moments of tongue-teasing, there were no slip-ups: when actors needed to interact with props, they did so without mistakes; cues were followed flawlessly; comedic timing was followed without a hitch; the actors were all very much equal to their roles, the script, and the constraints of the stage; and there were no dreaded wardrobe malfunctions - a miracle considering how many costumes there were and how many changes were made!

Let me go into what I loved about this production, bit by bit.

1. The location and stage: San Anton Gardens is in my opinion the ideal spot for an open-air performance, and with the background of the palace it truly is the perfect place for Shakespeare's work to be showcased.  The stage was long and narrow, making audience placement far more intimate than the norm with all spectators being rather close to the stage no matter where they were seated.  And a gate into the palace was used to wonderful effect as the main entrance and exit for the actors, which really added to the idea of the characters' moving from one place to another.

2. The wardrobe: my word, did the wardrobe mistress go all out! The clothing was 1940s style, and lovely.  All the costumes fit, and every scene had a change of clothing for the women, with the men sticking to the same formal dress during formal scenes such as the wedding and the funeral, but otherwise also having a change every scene.  What I thought was lovely was that every actor didn't just have clothes suiting their roles, but that also suited the actors.  I think the only thing that jarred - and this only happened when I really thought about it - was that the clothing and music was all set in the 1940s, but the men carried swords when they were in their army formal dress.  Even then, considering these were high officials [a count, a prince, a prince's bastard brother], so perhaps their uniform at that level would mandate swords at the time.  Regardless, the time period worked.

3. The actors: there were a few actors and actresses whom I haven't seen on stage before, and they played their parts wonderfully.  To be honest, I had first decided not to see this production because there were so many names I just didn't recognise, but having spoken to an actor friend who knew what was going on in the play, I decided to give it a shot.  And I'm so very glad that I did! Folks, I've said this before and I'll not stop saying it, we have so many talented people on this tiny island [to non-residents, non-Maltese, strangers to the island of Malta, we've a population between 400K and 500K] and we don't make enough of a fuss about them.

While the whole cast did a fabulous job, I must pinpoint some moments of excellence: the moment when Hero is asked to speak regarding the horrible claims laid against her was gold, with actress Nicola Abela Garrett putting raw emotion into her voice and still projecting perfectly; Imogen [Mrs Leonato]'s moment of chiding Count Claudio and the Prince for causing her daughter's death via public shaming, reducing them to nothing but boys [as the speech entails, in fact] was masterfully done with class and the pride only a mother can have; the love scenes between Benedick and Beatrice, played by Malcolm Galea and Fay Paris respectively, flowed so well that I could have been watching a real courtship; Colin Willis pulled off Hero's father Leonato grieving for his daughter's reputation with such desolate misery, I think the glass and bottle of JB were hardly needed as props for that scene.

4. The comedy duo:  Oh gods, did I laugh! Dogberry and Verges, played respectively by Erin Stuart Palmier and Joe Depasquale, had me bring out the silent laugh for the benefit of everyone around me, otherwise I can't guarantee their hearing would have survived my screeching cackles of laughter.  These two had the comedic timing down pat, and delivered their lines and actions with the right amount of gusto.  A match made in heaven.

5. The language and tone used: Now here comes the cherry on the cake.  Malta is a bilingual country, and we all code-switch like crazy, adding and substituting words in Maltese when speaking in English and vice versa, which adds to the colour of interaction thanks to the fascinating fact that both languages have phrases and expressions that just don't translate properly into the other language.  So it was with glee that I eventually realised the actors were using Maltesisms in between their Shakespearian dialogue for emphasis! Now hold your horses before you roll your eyes or tut tut in disapproval.  I'm talking about the typical things we say like 'eh' and 'mela'.  Well, except in the case of the clown sergeants Dogberry and Verges, whose dialogue was delivered with the thick accent of Maltese who aren't fluent enough in English to avoid carrying over their Maltese pronunciation - a great idea in my opinion, because the sergeants' scenes are used to counteract any seriousness that occurred in the previous scenes, and there really is nothing as amusing as that accent when coupled with the appropriate Maltese buffoon stereotype.  Oh, the hilarity! I'm not one to enjoy slapstick, but this was done so well I couldn't but end up gasping for breath at the end of each of their scenes.

That's enough gushing from me I think, you should find out how great it is for yourselves folks.  What's the worst that could happen? ;)

And thus, good gentles, reiterating my fervent wish that you all rush to the MADC website to book your tickets for the last three performances, I bid thee adieu!


MADC's Much Ado About Nothing on Facebook

Saturday 20 July 2013

I'm sick and tired of always being sick and tired

I'm lying down on my bed, tapping away on my laptop, with tears streaming down my cheeks.  The fan whirs in the background, I can hear faint popping sounds of fireworks from far off, and my mother is clattering pans in the kitchen while she prepares our lunch.  I'm sniffing, and getting a headache from the combined effort of crying and not sobbing.

I should be a normal healthy adult, but I'm not.  To all outward appearances I'm hale and hearty.  I dare say if I had a blood test done, I'd be given a clean bill of health.  Yet I have the immune system of ... of ... I don't even know what to compare it to.  I don't know anything or anyone with my problem.

Let me make it perfectly clear that I am not a hypochondriac.  Please believe me when I say that something goes wrong with my body on a monthly basis, on average.  I don't want to think of all the money I've spent on doctors, medicines, fuel to get to doctors and to pharmacies to buy medicine.  I don't want to think of all the days I've spent with restrictions on my activities - the school days missed, the work days missed, the fitness classes missed, the dance classes missed, the fitness boot camp I had to drop out of, staying away from other people, forcing myself to lie down and not do anything - because once again, my body wasn't fine.

(One long overdue hullabaloo when Mum asked 'what's wrong?', and lunch later...)

The only thing I can assume is that my immune system was destroyed when I had an incredibly bad bout of glandular fever at 16.  I was sick for a month.  The glands in my neck, groin, underarms, and throat were swollen, my tonsils were so enlarged that I had 0.5cm space between them, my liver and spleen were swollen, my fevers varied between 102 in the day and 104 at night, I couldn't go from one room to another without sitting down upon arrival, I couldn't sleep more than a couple of hours a night, I couldn't eat more than a small bowlful of liquidised vegetable soup, and it could only have been worse if either my liver or spleen ruptured, which would have resulted in death, or so I'm told.

Now let's forget that it took 6 months to build up my strength again, to turn from yellow [because with a swollen liver you get jaundice] to a natural colour, to recover to a reasonably normal state of well-being.  Let's consider how often I used to get sick as a child, and with what: 3 times a year, with cold, flu, or a cough.

Since January, I have had: 2 bladder infections, labyrinthitis, 2 bouts of thrush, 1 cough, 1 bout of hives [allergic reaction to I have no fucking clue what], a repetitive strain related pain in my left arm [elbow to fingertips], and the current bout of cigarette smoke allergy.  Count: 7 months; 9 problems.

That's not the only problem. What? There's MORE?! Yes, yes there is.  I don't just get sick often, I get sick badly.  I don't get a sore throat for several days that might turn into a cough if not taken care of.  I get a sore throat for a day, a cough the next, and a chest infection the day after.  And take the bladder infections, for instance.  Most people get a burning sensation when they pee, and a frequent urge to run to the bathroom for about 3 days, then it gets painful, and then they develop blood in their urine.  Dear old me gets all of those in the time period of 2 to 4 hours.

Did I mention that it's usually on a Sunday afternoon? Yep, that's what usually happens, along with public holidays [Merry Christmas!], and sometimes if I'm really lucky, at 7pm on such days.

This sort of disaster happens with every one of my ailments.  When I had hives this year, I was misdiagnosed twice: first I had highly contagious measles, then I had a somewhat contagious fungal infection.  Finally 2 doctors agreed it was 'just' an allergy.

And that, ladies and gents, is perfectly normal for me, and has been ever since I had glandular fever.  Why? I have no fucking clue.  Actually, I do, just a little.  Apparently, glandular fever [aka Epstein Barr Virus, Mononucleosis shortened to Mono in the US] delivers such a hit to the immune system that many people suffer from a weak immune system for several years after that fact.  It's been 10 years.  10 years, folks! A decade.  A decade of spending money on doctors and medicine and constantly getting sick.  In the 6 months after I had glandular fever I got a super-flu bug.  I was sick for 3 weeks, hoarse for over a month, and missed a week of sixth form, when I had Pure Maths at Alevel, and missing just the one hour was enough to make you struggle to catch up.  I missed 8 hours.  No matter how much I tried to catch up, I couldn't.  It was all downhill from there that scholastic year.

So here I am, 26 and something wrong with me on a monthly basis.  I was overjoyed because up until last week I hadn't had anything for 2 months.  Cue two things after each other.  I have no words for the frustration.  Argh.  And argh again.

Just in case any reader thinks this, let me shoot it down: fibromyalgia and ME, also known as Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, are not what's wrong with me.  I have no unexplained pains, I have no debilitating symptoms that floor me for days or weeks.

My problem is the frequency of getting sick, and the prolonged recovery of each problem - because as if getting sick often wasn't bad enough, I also take long to get over each thing.

If I ever become rich, the first thing I'll do is fund extensive research into the immune system, particularly in cases of diminished immunity.

The last thing I have to say is this: Bahumbug!

Sincerely,

Macs

Saturday 13 July 2013

Link it, baby!

Afternoon, folks!

So you may have noticed I skipped the midweek post.  This week has been hectic for me.  I started a new job and am at the training stage, which leaves me somewhat brainless for the rest of the day - there's a phrase in Maltese that fits perfectly for the effects of 5 hours of training by a frazzled woman: 'xorbitli mohhi' [literal translation: she drank my mind; sensible translation: she drained me so now I can't understand a damn thing].  Add to that an attitude I developed 6 months ago to always do my best to make it to my various commitments, and you'll find that despite being rather tired out I still went to my belly dance class on Monday... and fitness on Thursday... and singing on Friday.  I tried to attend fitness class on Wednesday but alas, it had to be cancelled when the instructor was pretty much grounded for overtime by her boss.  Include a certain fireball issue in Malta that had me on an ethical rampage for 3 days [and you'll find out my views on that fireball in a few weeks once I've settled down and had time to carry out some research ;) ], and you've got a Macs whose physical, mental and emotional energy has been sucked out with a straw until long after the horrible sound you get once there's nothing left.

'Why are you telling us this Macs?', you ask.  Well, it's like this: I don't have a long post today.  Nope.  Nothing insightful, nothing confessional, nothing funny.

What I do have is a handful of links that I consider very worth reading.  I hope you enjoy them as much as I have.

In gender discrimination, we find 2 fascinating posts.  And they're both by men.

http://qz.com/103453/i-understood-gender-discrimination-after-i-added-mr-to-my-resume-and-landed-a-job/

http://www.slate.com/articles/life/family/2013/07/life_as_a_stay_at_home_dad_everyone_i_meet_calls_me_a_hero_for_taking_care.html?wpsrc=upworthy


And in the food industry, the lovable Jamie Oliver shows us what goes into McDonalds burger meat, and many other minced meat products...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=20Yg-c6iBF8


Did you hate school as a child? I know a lot of people who did.  Personally, I loved the learning part of it.  Whatever you loved or hated about school, there's bound to be something you're incredibly thankful for about having been sent to school.

 Is that clear in your mind? Yes? Good.  Now imagine children who aren't allowed to learn, who are actually banned from being educated. Go one step further and imagine a teenage girl on a school bus being asked to identify herself and be shot, or everyone on the bus gets it, and she speaks up and gets shot in the head.  And survives.  Who shot her? A Taliban gunman.  Why was she shot? Because she's been speaking out about girls' rights, educational rights, and children's rights, since she was about 11 years old.  Happily, Malala Yousufzai survived, and judging by her address to the UN this week, she's recovered excellently.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B5X70VyjU0g


Here's another survivor whose story sets the old cogwheels grinding.  Have you ever wondered how the heck you're going to navigate your way out of a place in pitch dark?Well, maybe it's just me, but this is just too interesting to leave out.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2013/jul/13/experience-blindness-echolocation-daniel-kish?CMP=twt_gu


Did you enjoy that brain food? I know I did.  Now here's something to set you squealing with glee - and maybe singing too.

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10200168194676529

Cheerio until Wednesday!

Sincerely,
Macs

Sunday 7 July 2013

A funny thing happened the other day...

I'm on the cusp of starting a new job [literally, my first day will be tomorrow!] and had my last day at my previous job on Friday.  As last days go, it was rather run of the mill, except for one thing...

Here's a break down of my last day at Fenlex.

8:20am - Enter office, call out a cheerful good morning to my floormates, turn on pc and make tea.

8:30am till 12:30pm - Begin the mad dash of every last day in existence, work to finish everything that's still pending.  Answer emails quickly, exchange contact details with friends.

12:30pm - Rush up to 4th floor like a mad woman to say goodbye to a friend before she leaves the building.  Rush up to 5th floor because said friend isn't on 4th.  Hurry back down to my office on 2nd floor to see where exactly she is, because 5th floor had a distinct lack of her.  Hurry down to 1st floor to get the lift to the ground floor, take time in the lift to compose myself in case clients or company partners are around [tuck flyaway hair into place, adjust top, hitch trousers up to where they're supposed to be, find a suitable smile, try to breath like I haven't just run up and down 3 flights of stairs], and make my way to sub-zero to find my friend.

12:30pm till 12:35pm - Find friend.  Hug friend.  Get into conversation with friend and her officemates.  Hug friend again.  Say goodbyes, get wished luck, hug friend a third time.

12:36pm till 1:00pm - Back at pc, work, shift uncomfortably as hunger demon gets cracking on the latest assault on my stomach.

1:00pm - 1:30pm - Continue working while hunger pangs reach painful levels. Think and mutter 'Where the hell is that pizza?' every few minutes.

1:30pm till 2:00pm - Scarf down pizza and sigh contentedly.

2:00pm till 4:30pm -  Continue working to finish.  Lament eating too much too quickly.  Work one-handed while rubbing obscenely full belly with the other hand.  Astonish best friend Hannah with a bass-filled burp that escapes before I can cover my mouth or leave the room.  Spend a minute laughing at her wide-eyed expression and the unlikely sound, continue working to finish.

4:30pm - Realise there's no way I'll finish by 5pm.  Doggedly decide to stay till 6:30pm if that's what it takes.  'Dammit, I will not leave without finishing!'
4:50pm - Admit defeat on last task.  Pack up file and papers, grab notebook and pen, head upstairs for final file review meeting with supervisor Claudia.

4:51pm till 5:45pm - Climb the stairs to 4th floor for the last time.  Pull up a chair next to Claudia.  Get up to collect the files from various shelves and cupboards on 4th floor.  Sit down next to Claudia.  Get up to pick up papers from printer.  Sit.  Begin meeting.  All goes reasonably well.  Get side-tracked for a few minutes, continue meeting.

5:45pm till 5:55pm - Meeting ends.  Get a hug from Claudia and the funniest expression of good-luck-but-please-come-back-some-day' I've ever heard.  Put all files away for the last time.  Leave goodbye note on another friend's desk.  Think how quiet the office is with only Claudia in.  Head back downstairs.

5:56pm till 6:30pm - Put desk in order.  Write a handover email for Hannah, ask her not to miss me too much.  Turn off pc, lights, printer, turn on alarm, close the door, turn off lights and board the lift.

6:30pm - Hear voices saying 'Ejjew ha mmorru' [Translation: Come on, let's go!'], hear silence as electric current nearby is switched off.  Lift stops between 1st and ground floor.  Call out for help to the disembodied voices on ground floor.  No-one hears.  Realise I'm stuck in the lift.

'Bwahahaha! I get stuck in the lift on my last day when everyone's left.  This is hilarious! What are the odds? Hahahah!', thinks me, along with 'Gosh it's hot in here, and airless.'

Uh-oh...

'Shit.  Wait.  Don't lifts run out of air when they're switched off? Isn't that why they're so noisy when they're running, 'cos the air is pumped in? What if I run out of air before someone finds me?' Panic is trying to set in.
'NO! No panicking.  Oh I wish I still carried my anxiety meds.  Why did I take them out anyway? DAMMIT! No, no, don't panic.  Think Mar, think!'

'I'll call Claudia!' Hunt through mobile phone's contacts for Claudia.  Dismayed as Check Balance skips to Corinne.
'Fuck.  Ok, don't panic.  Call Hannah! She's still in Valletta, and Claudia won't have gone far!'  Find Hannah's number, call, listen to the rings until voicemail comes on.
'BUGFUCK.  Ok.  Whose number do I have? Adrian! Rhona!' Hunt for Adrian's number, no joy, move on to Rhona's number, descend significantly into panic and feel lungs ready to hyperventilate.
'... What do I do? What do I do?! Who else can I call???' Find Luisana's number, call, try not to cry when it rings until voicemail.
'*mental sob* I'm going to spend the weekend here.' Try Hannah again.  Still no answer.  Run out of swear words, run into depths of hysteria.
'HAHAHAHAH! Oh my god this is so HILARIOUS! HAHAHAHA I'm stuck in a LIFT! I'm sleeping here tonight! HAHAHAHAH!'  Some dregs of sanity suggest I call Luisana again, and again no luck.  Begin to be annoyed.  Also start imagining spending the weekend sleeping on the floor of the lift and having to start my new job in the same clothes.

'Seriously, what's the point in having a mobile phone if you don't answer it?! Yeesh!' Try Hannah, and still no answer.  Realise my phone's battery is very, very low.  Shift brain cells into overdrive and scan through my contacts for someone, anyone, who can help me.  Cue epiphany.

'DAVINIA! Hannah's with Davinia! YES!' Call Dav.  'Hello?' 'DAV! HI! Is Hannah with you???' 'Hi Macs! Yes she is.' 'Ok, tell her I am STUCK in the LIFT at WORK, tell her to CALL CLAUDIA.' 'What? Shall I pass you on to Hannah?' Try not to scream in frustration. 'Yes please!' Hear shuffling sounds.  'Hallo?' 'HANNAH! I'm stuck in the lift at work! Call Claudia!' 'I don't have her number!' 'Yes yes, it's in the phone I lent you!' 'Oh ok! Alright, I'll call Claudia and get back to you.' 'Great! Thanks! Bye!'

Sigh with relief, let panic ebb away slightly.  Hear Claudia's voice from 4th floor.  My phone rings.
'Hi Han,' 'Hey listen, she said she's at work too.  What's the problem?' 'What - ? I'M STUCK IN THE LIFT.  THE LIFT STOPPED WITH ME IN IT.' 'Ooooh! OH! I thought you said you were stuck at work! I'll call her again.' 'THANK YOU.' By this point I've broken into a sweat and can't look at myself in the mirror.  I'm sure my reflection is mocking me.

I hear Claudia's voice again, and her laugh.  'Oh yes, it's amusing, I know,' I smirk to myself, and think once again of the irony of getting stuck in the lift on my last day when the office is abandoned.  'Thank the gods for Claudia working late.'  I hear footsteps and the loud switch of electricity buzzing.  The lift moves and I watch the LED go through 1, 3 and 4.  I wait with baited breath as it comes to a stop and the doors open.  Claudia is waiting and I swear I could bearhug her and fall down and weep with relief.

'CLAUDIA! THANK YOU! MY SAVIOUR! I thought I would spend the weekend in there! THANK YOU!' I gasp, while she smiles and laughs, and says 'Miskina!' [Translation: poor thing!].

'Issa I don't know what you prefer, you can take the lift and it should open on 1st floor, suppost.  I don't know if you want to try it though,' she smiles.
'NO! No, thank you, but I can only suppress a panic attack for so long and I really, really don't want to risk it again.  Can I take the stairs?'
'Haha miskina, I don't blame you! Yes of course!'

So I make it down the stairs, out the door and into the sunlight.  Somehow it feels like it should be a moonlit night and deserted, instead there are people thronging the main street of the city two corners up the road.  I sigh with tremendous relief and grin.  'Well, that's one way to leave a job I guess.'

And there you have it folks, my last day at Fenlex ending with just a little bit of drama.  I had a good giggle about it afterwards!

Sincerely,


Macs

Wednesday 3 July 2013

Quirks and Other Quiddities

Well hello hello, is it Wednesday already? It's time for my mid-week post! Today I bring you... ta ta-da DA! QUIRKS!

What is a quirk, or quiddity, really? It's something that one does that is perhaps a little odd or unusual, something that is not quite normal behaviour, but which one makes part of one's own everyday life.

This one's quirks include:

  • Using different voices for the heck of it, at any point in time, according to this one's mood - baby voice, bad French accent voice, creepy butler voice, Igor voice, posh voice, growling voice, and the list goes on and on and on...
  • Hand-dancing whenever this one is riding passenger in the car with this one's mother - the dorkier the movements, the better the hand-dancing! [Of course!]
  • Having conversations with this one's mother and brother in mm-mm language - replace all known words with 'mm', use various tones and pitches to express different meanings, et voila! A conversation only the two [or three] of you can understand! [This one's brother hasn't participated in this for some years now and has probably lost the knack.]
  • Squealing 'DOGGY!' at the sight of any canine that comes into view.
  • Speaking in a squeaky syruppy goo-goo voice to all furry creatures and having a one-sided conversation along the lines of 'Oooh so fuzzy! Who's so fuzzy? SO CUTE! I want to squish you! SQUISH! Eat your ears! NOM! Such a pretty baby, awwww googoogoo!' and increasing in inanity until this one's companions point out that people are starting to give strange looks...
  • Making popping sounds with this one's lips at random intervals throughout the day, particularly when bored or concentrating. [*Pop!*]
  • Separating this one's hair into sections, feeling the entire length of each curl, and shifting curls from one side to the other when bored.
  • Acting out all characters in a story or anecdote this one is telling, thereby royally confusing the audience.
  • Pulling faces at children in cars or who look particularly bored, until they smile.
  • Reverting into baby voice, goo-goo talk and silliness when trying to catch sight of neighbouring cats
  • Randomly taking on a persona when writing, such as 'this one', out of sheer amusement.

And what quirky quiddities do you exhibit, dear readers? Post below! I don't bite! I promise...

Sincerely,
Macs, 'this one'